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Latchkey Kids…Tips

admin — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 00:00:00 +0000

If you’re feeling guilty about your kids getting home from school before you get home from work, don’t. It’s a necessary evil when you’re a single parent and latchkey kids do just as well in the long run as those with stay at home moms. Here are a few things you should do to ensure your kids are as safe as possible while they’re alone at home
Think about security If you haven’t yet, look into Home Security system costs. You’ll feel better knowing your alarm has been turned off by the kids and some systems even come with in-home cameras.
Talk to your neighbors Talk to the parents nearby about your situation and ask them to help you keep an eye on the kids. They’ll let you know if the kids are playing in the street or better yet if someone suspicious comes by the house.
Talk to your kids If your kids know the rules they’ll be better prepared to live up to your expectations. Set some basic ground rules for the house and visitors and you’ll feel better.

Do You Spend Time With Singles Or Married Couples

admin — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 00:00:00 +0000

Single parents can suddenly feel like the odd man out when it comes to socializing. You no longer fit neatly into the couple category and since you are a parent, you are not as carefree as a single person without children. There are a few things you can do to ease back into socializing.

You may notice a dwindling of invitations to married friends social gatherings. This happens because your married friends are unsure of whether you will be comfortable in a couples setting.I was looking for more information and found it here. Take the initiative to make plans with them and let them see that you can remain friends.

Go out and have fun with your single friends. If you are not ready for the dating and pick-up scene, make plans focused around interests you have in common or throw a potluck dinner party.

Seek out other people in the same position. Search online for single parent meet-ups in your area. Attend school events and sports events with your children to meet parents. Look for a church that offers a singles group or single parents group.

Your new social group is likely to be a blend of singles, married couples and other single parents.

How To Answer “Why Cant’ I Live With Dad”

admin — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 00:00:00 +0000

Nothing can crush a mother’s heart like hearing the child wail, “why can’t I live with Dad?” Divorces or separation are mean and messy on their own, even if both parties can be civil and behave, it’s still a loss of life and a division of memories. Children don’t understand that, “you have grown in a different way” or that father did some really nasty things to the mother such as cheating, or worse. All children understand is that their lives are changing for ever and they have no say in it, they feel like a ship being tossed at sea, and the safe harbor; Mom and Dad, are no longer there for them.
If the Dad isn’t dangerous of violent but treated the mother poorly, it may be very tempting to make the word “Dad” into a four letter word to his children, but for their sake don’t. Explain to the children how it’s best for them and their lives to live where they are now, and to be with their Mommy who loves them and can protect them. What the children need right now is assurance that they are loved and will still see their father very soon.

Handling The “Why Can’t I Go To Mom’s” Question

admin — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 00:00:00 +0000

When you are a newly divorced parent or a step-parent, you will encounter the question, “why can-t I go to mom-s house?’ Sometimes that can be a difficult question to answer depending on the children-s ages and the circumstances surrounding the situation. Unfortunately there is no instruction manual to help guide you and prepare you for it.

In our house, we try to be as honest and up front while still being as age appropriate as possible. I understand the nine year old will comprehend things the five year old will not. So far, letting them know that this is what a judge has said is what-s best for right now, seems to work. However, some day-s that answer doesn-t sooth the confusion they-re feeling. I don-t like giving vague answers like, because we said so, it makes them feel like we-re being mean and keeping them from her. But at the end of the day, I want my step children to feel safe in knowing that the arrangements made, ARE in their best interest. I always encourage my step children to talk about their feelings and ask questions and we will try to answer them as honestly as possibly.

Introducing Your Child To Someone You Are Dating

admin — Sat, 16 Jul 2011 00:00:00 +0000

Children are usually the last to know about significant changes in the relationship status of their parents, and this can lead to a great deal of insecurity, anxiety, and even mistrust in the parent/child relationship. For a child who has already had a “last to know” experience in the form of divorce, status changes need to be handled pro-actively.

It is not necessary to introduce your child to every person that you date, and in truth, that can be informational and emotional overload for a kid. But when someone comes along who has survived the first three or four dates, it’s time to prepare your child to meet your new prospect. While only you can determine where the relationship is going, there are a few things that bear repeating whenever someone new enters the picture:

1. You love your child, and although you make the decisions in this area, you value their input.
2. You are not trying to replace their other parent. For the moment, this person is just a friend.
3. It’s too soon to tell if this relationship has a future. You are just getting to know each other.

With open communication and a healthy dose of hugs, you can help your child accept this new person in a self-assured and realistic way.

Finding “Me” Time In A Single Parent Household

admin — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 00:00:00 +0000

Spontaneous moments of “Me” time can happen but it is better to schedule the time when possible to make sure one gets “Me” time.

Take a piece of paper. Write out the schedule of yourself and your child’s day, not as you wish it would be but as it really exits. Next sketch in estimates of time for each entry. Look at the times.

If the child has to be on the bus by 9:17 AM and you need to be en-route to work by 9:20 AM, that’s three minutes of potential “Me” time. “Me” time could be savoring a favorite coffee in a moment of peace.Check out this link here. If there are twenty minutes between the time you get home from work and the time the child gets home from school, that is twenty minutes of “Me” time. Use it. These are only some small examples.

If you need “Me” time, chores can wait. If the child has a regular commitment that doesn’t include you, block in that time for an activity for yourself.

Schedule yourself a date with yourself on a daily or weekly basis. Date yourself. If no one else puts you first, then it is time that you did.

Single Moms: Teaching Sons What Dad Usually Teaches

admin — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 00:00:00 +0000

Single mothers of sons should be commended as it is very difficult for them to be mother and father. Teaching a boy how to be a young man is not the easiest task in the world. At times it can be quite challenging. Father’s usually teach their sons about strength, sex, sports, and male bonding. There is no manual for mothers to read that tells them how to assume this role and teach the things that a man usually teaches. They just have to do the best they can and hope that their guidance carries over well with their sons.

The most important thing that a single mother can do for her son is to establish trust and confidence. A son needs to know that he can come to his mother and talk to her about anything and there is no subject that has to be avoided. Even girls, sex, and dating can be discussed with mom and she will try to help to direct him on the right things to do. It can definitely work. Sometimes the sons of single mothers grow up to be very fine boys because they have been successfully taught how to be loving men.

Single Dads: Discussing Female Concerns With A Daughter

admin — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 00:00:00 +0000

Female concerns consist of menstrual cycles, breast size, peer relationships, boys and dating, and sex with or without pregnancy. Drug associations such as drinking, smoking, and worse fall under peer relationships to some extent.

Be up front. Do not accuse when stating one’s position. For example, in discussing a concern, one might say, “I do not know everything but I am here for you if you want to talk about something bothering you.”

Be open and honest. Use simple direct terms. Use language that is at the level of the daughter’s understanding.

In the process of opening communications, make sure that when she speaks up that condemnation is not the immediate response. Do not speak anything that would crush self-esteem. Stating one does not approve is all right. Setting one’s expectations is all right. Insulting, name calling, and losing one’s temper to violence are not.

It is easier as something that seemed taboo becomes familiar and less mysterious. Don’t wait until your daughter is the expert by hard experience. If you want to speak to her and guide her as she grows, then give her your respect and invite communication early. Educate yourself before educating her. Start early, speak often.