Working hard to get the support...

Some of my loyal readers may remember last month I posted about the lack of support around for young parents. Well someone I've been in contact with on twitter for a few months now @bettersexeduk  who has been working with a young parents group in Glossopdale, Derbyshire. The young womens group there is run by a wonderful lady Jackie Hay who featured on a DVD that this group made and I had the chance to watch. The DVD called "Teenage Kicks" was created by the Glossopdale Young Womens group and the New Mills Young Womens group.The DVD was awe inspiring in the respect that for the first time I was watching a documentary about what being a teenage parent was really like. Not how the media show it to be. It was extremely well made and the lovely girls in the DVD were kind enough to let the cameras come into their homes and see them with their children. They were honest and they were frank. They spoke about the truth, the good and the bad. They didn't just focus on the negatives like many prime time TV Documentary's do! 


Sadly however like the young parents group I was involved with, they are under serious threat of closure due to lack of funds. @Bettersexeduk tells me that "The group very nearly closed at the end of March but Contraception Education (Barbara: Managing Director and myself: Community and Youth Work Studies student [although my placement at CE has now finished] - we both became involved with GYWG in a number of ways) funded the groups crèche." However of course in the world of money this still isn't enough and the group are having to work their socks off to apply for grants and fund-raising etc to be able to keep the group open. 


When my young parents group shut down a lifeline was pulled from under me. OK so I wont deny it when I had first heard of the group I had my reservations. I thought they would be all teenage bitches like the bullies I had encountered at school and that no one would speak to one another. Eventually my connexions advisor dragged me along when Simba was around three months old. I walked into a room with other parents, around 8 or 9 of them. All with children running everywhere and with a few lovely older ladies helping run around after the children. They were all keen to talk to me and ask questions which I obliged and answered and gradually I got to know them. The following week I went back and the rest as they say is history. I learnt so much at that group, we did courses on confidence, parenting with confidence, money management, crafting as well of course as funding some of us to learn to drive. We also went on day trips to the beach and had girlie evenings on the longboat the council youth services have. All until one day when suddenly we were told that from the following week there would no longer be a group. As simple as that. The funding had been cut and the group was shutting down. The same thing happened to six other groups within our county. No warning or anything for us to try and do anything to stop it. 


I managed to stay in contact with a few of the Mums at the group but we found it harder and harder to meet up without the central point that had been our young parents group. Sadly now it still doesn't run. Alot of the children's centres around here have young parents groups on their timetables but I've been down to a few and often because their numbers of young parents are so low they simply allow it to be another play and stay for parents of all ages. Needless to say I don't often go back to those. Without my young parents group I attended for that year and a half I wouldn't be the person I am today. They gave me confidence in myself and my parenting abilities. They gave me a place to sit and vent at the stares on the bus and the attitude of others. Without that I would have remained shy and retiring and not left the house anywhere near as much as I did because of the group. 


Jackie Hay set up the Glossopdale young women's group to build their confidence, make new friends and give them a voice in the community. And its worked. The DVD is proof of that. There are many young women benefiting from Jackies group but sadly if funding doesn't come in soon then these young women are going to have no where to turn to when their confidence is down and they need some advice. They have written a fundraising letter which @bettersexeduk twitpic'd


It is sadly a very political affair as I mentioned in my previous post and no doubt its the same story up and down the country with young parents groups being shut down due to lack of funding, the fact of the matter is its not on and only the young people who use them are the only ones with the power in their voices to stop them. Good on Glossopdales young women for not sitting back and letting it slide, they are making their voices heard in the best way they can. 


It angers me how little is out there for young parents and I've been in discussions with Urbanvox.net about a website that I want to create for young parents and he is going to be helping me with the more technical side of things. 


I'm also currently involved in a research project that a central London council are running in regards to why young parents find it so hard to volunteer or simply don't consider it. If you would like to share your experiences as a young parent in relation to volunteering please get in touch. Thanks.

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Ready, Set.... GO!!!!!

For those of you that were on twitter/facebook this morning you may have noticed my shameless pleas for sponsorship, they didn't work but I tried hehe, mentioning that today I was running the Adidas Womens Challenge 5K in Hyde Park for Mind. So why Mind? Well as many people who know me well already know, I suffer with depression. I'm not ashamed to admit that. If I was I wouldn't be writing about it and featuring in top bloggers mental health carnivals. And so Mind for me made sense. Last year it was rethink. This year it was Mind.

Mind offer a wide range of services including support groups. Something that both sufferers of mental illness and their carers need badly. To know that they aren't alone. They have a helpline, they run trainings, they campaign. There really isn't much in terms of mental health that these guys don't do. And so it was an easy decision.

Sadly I haven't raised anywhere near as much as I would have liked but I was also vastly aware that a) people don't have a great deal of cash to spare at the moment, especially with the upcoming tax changes and b) many people sponsored me for London to Brighton in June so its hard asking people twice! Either way if you do still want to sponsor me you can do.

And so back to today. How did it go? Well it went bloody brilliant!

Having woken up at 3am and not been able to get back to sleep till nearly 4 I wasnt hugely confident of my performance but I had learnt a few tips from previous years where I had gone wrong such as not drinking too much in the lead up to the race as you only end up with a stitch and needing the loo!

For the first time in three years running this race Simba came up to watch me. This meant so much to me and really made a difference at 1.5km when I spotted Mum and him screaming me on! Mum told me he was shouting so loud that numerous people kept turning around to see who it was hehe! Thats my boy!

I managed to run/jog most of the race with a few power walking moments, namely "The hill" ;)

This year I knew I needed to time myself. And when I crossed the finish line. It was.

A personal best! I was ecstatic! now I have to confess here, I was running on cloud nine. A few minutes prior to the start I received news of my oldest friend giving birth to her twins after 4 days in labour. I'm going to be godmother to either one or both and I was crying with delight as I read her bbm message. They are in NICU as a precaution and she is in alot of pain and very sore after a difficult natural birth but is already an extremely proud Mum. Cannot wait to see them! And so for that reason running that course felt a million times easier knowing my smiley Simba's face was going to be at the end and that I would have big hugs from him and knowing that R and her two newborns were safe and OK I was buzzing!

It was great at the end too that Urbanvox managed to finally make it to London ( ;-) ) after missing the start and the finish! But he saw me out of my top and less sweaty! So bonus for him I guess! And I also got to have a quick chat with Cherished By Me, Mummys Busy World and All Baby Advice. It was wonderful to have a quick debrief and a good old chinwag about the fact that NO ONE seems to read the advice prior to the race which asks you to "keep to the left if walking" - how many people do that? Oh maybe 25% and then you have to dodge around them which causes accidents, like the one poor Mummys Busy World had and at this moment shes down A+E getting her ankle seen too poor love! That for me really is a bug bear of this race and I wish the marshals would enforce it somewhat more!

Also have to say a massive Kudos to Great Ormand Street who had by far the biggest amount of supporters around the course than in previous years! Well done guys!

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R.E.S.P.E.C.T

Respect

A simple word.

Seven Letters.

Two Vowels.

Many meanings.

Now I had to write this now or else it would lose its meaning and emotion for me writing this. I've just finished watching The Bills, last ever episode after 26 years of the series. I'm not 26, I wasnt even born when it started. I've only been watching it for around 10 years myself but as a young girl it taught me so many things. Not least respect. Respect for authority. Respect for the Police for the work that they do putting their lives on the line for us every day. Respect to the actors who were so passionate about their jobs. 

I'm sure many of you didnt watch the final episode. I know it lost a lot of popularity in the last few years, which is why its no longer running. But for loyal fans of the show and for anyone who watched it they will have seen some fine acting and cast members filming an incredible ending. 

There was no big bang, no car chase, no death, no birth, no drama. It was a fitting end, the station was carrying on its working life like it has done for 26 years. The show itself gave the station some respect in its final moments by not blowing it up. An incredible final shot which featured all 17 cast members as well as numerous extras which was going to be a challenge to pull off, but they did it. And a wonderful ending it was too.

But the respect thing really got me thinking. The Bill itself taught me a great deal of respect. I wasnt allowed to watch it until I was probably around 10, when it was still on at 8pm this was. And I loved it from the start, the first grown up TV I could watch. It was awesome. I loved how true to life it was. How similar to the Met Police it was. Over the years its kept up with the ever changing views towards the police in reality, the rise in attacks on the police. It always stayed current. I obviously didnt just learn my respect from there. I also learnt it from my parents, grandparents, teachers, my primary school headmaster amongst others. But these days the respect isnt there is it?

My Mum teaches a Reception Class. 4-5 Year Olds these children are. They swear. They curse. They hit. They punch. They fight. They ignore. 4 and 5 year olds. 

Simba will be 4 in two months time. The thought of him doing any of those things horrifies me. Yet there are children out there that are. 

If they are going into school at 4 and 5 with no respect for authority, for others, what hope do we have for when they reach their teenage years. No wonder there is the gang culture that we have. The violence. The crime. 

Jack Meadows in his final speech on The Bill said something very true. The meaning of respect has changed. And that it has. To these teenagers and youths respect has a whole other meaning, a meaning that if broken can end up getting themselves killed. A seven letter word that can leave our teenagers for dead. 

Its a scary world we are bringing our children up in. 

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Follow Friday - A fellow Teen Mum.

'i dont know, but im always here for you'I have for a while been promising myself I would get back into doing my follow Friday posts and have been extremely lack so I do apologise.


But today. I'm here. And I have my person I have chosen to recommend and that is:

Dawn! Dawn blogs at everydayparent and tweets at @dawnuptheroad (shes always got hysterical tweets!) 


Dawn wrote her first blog post last November about her life and her relationship with her daughter. Dawn was a teenage parent in that she had a son at 14 who she gave up for adoption. She mentions him at numerous times throughout her blog including in her first post:

another thing i cant really tell her is the reason i left school is because i had a baby at 14 and gave him up for adoption, you'll also hear about this side of my life as well, i often wonder what my boy is like, but i cant seem to summon up the courage anymore and write a ' how are you letter' without it ending up 'too emotional' according to the adoption agency. so either way i cant win, while at least social services keep the emotional letter to show him when he's 'old enough' when is old enough?

Also how do i explain that the man my daughter thinks is her dad isnt? even though ive split up with both and she doesnt see either? one day serious questions are going to be asked and the answer is quite simply going to be 'i dont know, but im always here for you'

 'i dont know, but im always here for you' - By far the best answer to any question ever. I can remember my Mum saying that to me at times and it meant so much. 

Dawn has opened her heart with many of these posts including "No One Cares" which I'm not even going to say any more on other than go and read it. 

Dawn is herself on twitter and her blog and that's exactly what I love about her. So if you want to follow a friendly, funny, inspirational, honest woman then Dawn is your lady! 

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Blogging Reader Survey - The Results!

Well the results are in and I have just spent almost two hours processing them from survey monkey onto word in a readable language! 

I have to confess that some of the results have even taken myself by surprise, I didn't expect for example that people would favour the wordpress/blogger standard commenting system (Q3).

So having gone through and hopefully put the results in an easy to understand way here they are. A few things to note are:

• There were 95 respondents
• No questions were compulsory thus some totals will add up to less.
• The "Other Comments" are just a sample of what was left, some had quite a few which were numerous people suggesting the same thing thus have only put one on. 
• All respondants to the survey were completely anonymous and I have no idea who answered what and nor was there any email address's or personal details kept or even asked for.

So without further ado, I give you the results.

Q1: How do you find the blogs you read?

British Mummy Bloggers	30
Google	19
Twitter	71
Facebook	14
Other	28

Other comments:

• Blogrolls on other bloggers' sites
• blogrolls from favourite sites, articles about blogs, twitter controversies, friends recommendations
• Through my blog and networking
• Never look for them, just find them via other blogs
• Comment links on other people's blogs
• In-house social media measurement tools
• Tots 100
• SITS
• By clicking on the followers on other peoples blogs, blogs of people who follow me on blogger and twitter mainly before finding them in other ways
• Research & CyberMummy event
• Handpicked media

Q2 What is your preferred method for subscribing to blogs?

Google Reader	48
Other Reader	3
Direct Links (Not subscribed)	22
Google Friend Connect	14
Rss Feed	10
Email Subscription	15
Other	3

Other comments:

• Fever RSS reader
• Feedly

Q3 What is your favoured commenting system?

Blogger/Wordpress Standard	58
Disqus	20
Intense Debate	8
Other	9

Other Comments:

• “Anything mobile-accessible - can't access WP commenting utility on Smartphone”
• “Anything that allows me to know if someone replies to my comment”
• “Just posting a comment at the bottom of the post. Keeping it as simple as possible is key. Asking me to login to wordpress etc just stops me from commenting”
• “Anything that doesn't require registration or word verification. No follow free is a bonus.”

Q4 Does word verification put you off commenting on a post?

Yes	26
No	44
Might do	22

Other Comments:

• “I find it bothersome, and know people with vision impairment who can't do it at all”
• “If WV and then the comment is moderated it annoys me. One or the other people, one or the other.”

Q5 Do you favour blogs with…

A cluttered appearance	1
Clean cut and simple	84

Other Comments:

• ordered, very few adverts
• Something which shows off the personality of the blogger.
• But not just plain and boring blogger or wordpress templates, I like blogs that look individual
• Doesn't matter need good content

6. Sponsored Posts - Do you tend to skip over these if you know the blogger has been paid to write it?

Yes	27
No	35
Maybe	33

7. Do you find that when numerous bloggers have been invited/included in the same PR event etc that you will skip reading that post?

Yes	32
No	27
Maybe	34

Other Comments:

• “No, because everyone has different opinions and that's interesting”
• “I'll usually read the first few, particularly from those I know relatively well.”
• “Depends - the John Lewis one was lovely, great to read different experiences, but maybe not so much for chocolate weetabix (seen about 10 posts for that!)”

8. If a blog is showing paid adverts does this affect whether you will read the blog in the future?

Yes	8
No	71
Maybe	14

• Depends where/how many paid averts there are
• Bloggers have to make a living, too!
• I would read it via my RSS reader to eliminate the ads
• Depends if they are obtrusive or not - on a sidebar is fine but not appearing within each post, find that a bit annoying!

9. Do you have any further comments you wish to include in this survey?

• I dislike blogs that link to mine, then when I check theirs out they are a shop front, with no connection to my blog subject at all.
• I've noticed some blogs recently which don't allow readers to comment, or to link to their own blogs when they do comment, and I'm not keen on either.
• I don't like blogs that are just people getting given stuff and writing about it, the odd review or event fine but it needs to be bulked out by something else of interest
• Blogs are no different to newspapers in that the same campaigns/film releases/launches etc are bound to pop up at the same time. The key is the way the blogger talks about it - it has to be a personal experience - not a copied and pasted press release and it has to be relevant to me.
• A well written blog will always get read but too much advertising or paid for PR stuff affects its integrity and makes me wary.
• I generally look at what is being sponsored and if it is something available in NZ, I'll read it. Otherwise I skip over it. I often skip gallery/meme/guest posts.
• I don't pay attention to adverts so much, I do think reviews and things involving free press as I know the responses are genuine and I take a proper interest in the review - magazine etc are often paid to give good reviews on not so good products
• I don't mind ads appearing on a blog, but I will not read sponsored posts. If a blog I read has more sponsored posts than "real" posts I unsubscribe. I don't read giveaways. I also hate reading a post to find out only at the end that there was a sponsored agenda. Even if I found the post funny, I feel that it wasn't real, and I feel sort of tricked. Either write blogs, or go and work in advertising.

Please do feel free to share this/spread the word etc but please do credit my hard work back :)

(Thanks to urbanvox.net for making the badge)

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Why isnt laughter available on prescription?

It damn well should be! 


For as long as I can remember I have loved You've Been Framed with a passion, I can remember spending Saturday evenings at my Grandparents house cracking up with laughter with my Granddad while Nanny tutted at the people hurting themselves and doing such silly things. 


As time went on someone introduced me to Jackass. Well I was HOOKED. I have the whole boxset of it and reguarly watch it! I never get bored of that show! 


And then Takeshis Castle, how did I come about that? In a school assembly funnily enough, must have been in year 8 or so. The deputy head played a clip on the projector. I cant remember why. I know he had a moral to his assembly, all I was thinking was "Man I have to watch that when I get in". And so for a while Takeshis castle kept me hooked.


More recently there has been Total Wipeout on BBC1 and 101 Ways to Leave a Gameshow. Both of which are just immense! 


Other than the fact in all of these shows people are making a fool out of themselves I have realised that the one common link to all these shows and why I find them amusing is this. The presenters/commentators. Harry Hill on You've Been Framed, Takeshis Castle with Craig Charles, Jackass and Jonny Knoxville (Oh man is he hot), Total Wipeout with Richard Hammond and 101 Ways to Leave a Gameshow with Steve Jones. All of them, with the hilarious things they come out with just leave me in tears of laughter. Even at times when my depression has been at its worst I've been able to muster a smile at these programs.


It's a well known fact that laughter is good for you yet its not available on prescription?! Why not? Surely it would be a cheaper solution than happy pills and talking therapies!?


Either way heres a few clips to make you smile, they certainly made me laugh!













If you dont have a smile on your face now well... tell me and I WILL find a clip that makes you laugh!

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